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Friends, it is great to connect with you again after a break from writing this summer.
I hope that you were able to receive the beauty of this season, and with it, the love of God and his gift of rest and restoration for your soul.
I recently wrote about conflict, and the counsel that my dear mentor offered years ago, on how my role (and yours) as a husband is not to be right, but to restore union.
As I mentioned then, this counsel has proven invaluable to me over the years— in my marriage, but also in every one of my most important relationships.
I have to remember it constantly.
Because when conflict arises—when the emotions rush in, I can easily feel that I’m on the receiving end of an assault, and that I have no other course but to fight back.
Interestingly enough, that’s precisely what’s often taking place, although not in the ways that in those moments I (and we) may think.
When we feel attacked—assaulted, there is often someone intentionally behind the assault.
There is someone trying to destroy all that is good and true—our hearts, our loving relationships—everything that truly matters in life.
If I'm being honest, I was furious.
The situation felt profoundly unfair—how could she not grasp what seemed glaringly obvious to me?
Despite my best efforts, all my attempts at reasoning with my wife felt pointless.
Each time I tried to articulate my perspective only seemed to deepen the chasm between us.
And by then, we had helplessly tried (and failed) to reconnect with each other for what felt like an eternity.
Until finally, thank God, we agreed to a temporary ceasefire and chose to go our separate ways.
I walked away with my heart pounding in my chest.
The whole conflict was still swirling like a storm in my head.
Why, God? Why can't she see?
