Foxhole:
/fŏks′hōl″/
A small pit dug into the ground as a shelter for protection against enemy fire.
This was my first time at his house.
If I’m honest, I had accepted his invitation to come over only because I was trying to close a business deal with him.
I was expecting a “Bible study” of some sorts, based on the little he had shared with me.
But an hour into our gathering, after a cocktail and a cigar, we were sitting in his living room watching a UFC fight.
I was really uncomfortable.
Although I had watched a few boxing matches before, this was my first time witnessing the reality of two men stepping into a cage to face each other with what seemed to me like basically no rules.
This was about 20 years ago, but I remember this part as if it happened last night.
Two heavyweight titans, each weighing over 240 pounds, entered the octagon and locked eyes with each other, revealing their clear intentions to destroy the other or die trying.
Within a minute of the first round, one of them was already lying on the ground, completely unconscious, while the other was making his head bounce off the canvas with violent hammer-fist strikes to his face.
Every muscle in my body was tense.
I was holding my breath, praying in my heart for the ref—or anyone for that matter, to put a stop to the fight and to this man’s suffering.
And then, Jim, our host, turned the TV off, paused, turned around and looked at me and at each of the men around the table.
Then he said:
“Every one of us, in some area of our lives, may be feeling like there is a 240-pound beast like this guy beating the crap out of us.
What is that for you?”
First, there was silence, but then, one by one, the men around the table began to share.
For some of them it was their marriage. They were fighting for it, trying to make it work, but at times they felt hopeless—ready to tap out.
Others shared their addictions—pornography, alcohol, excessive work or some other “medication” to dissociate from more painful realities.
Someone else shared of his difficult financial struggles.
Another man confessed of his recent diagnosis and how it had sent him on a tailspin of regret over how he had been living his life.
Then silence.
There were no teachings, preaching, or advice.
It was a holy moment.
For a few hours, every man around the table had found a place of refuge.
A Mighty Foxhole.
That evening everything changed for me.
Up until then, every one of the the battles I was facing had been a source of shame—a report card on who I was as a man.
Somehow I had come to believe that everyone else was living a “close to perfect life”, while I was the idiot who couldn’t get his act together.
But that night, through that conversation, my friend Jim opened the doors of the Kingdom of God to me.
And although at the end of the evening I had to drive back home and face my own realities, somehow I was no longer alone.
I had been invited into a larger Story.
And I had become part of a company of warriors—men who like me were facing tremendous opposition, but who were willing to embrace it, and in union with God, fight to overcome it.
Friends, we all need a Mighty Foxhole—a place of refuge, mutual support, and masculine strength.
A place where we can be seen, known and valued for who we really are.
A place where we can be fully ourselves—the good, the bad and the ugly, without judgement.
A place where we can share our battles openly and without shame, and fight for each other as we walk with God to overcome them.
This is God’s design and his desire for each of us.
It is what he wants for you.
Do You Have A Foxhole?
If you do, are you sharing your battles openly and honestly with the men in it?
And if not, is there one man that you could consider digging a foxhole with?
I am eternally grateful that two decades ago my friend Jim was generous enough to invite me to this Tuesday gathering.
It was not what I was looking for, but exactly what I needed.
And just like Jim did with me then, today I’ll leave you with an invitation:
If you are thirsty for more...
If you don’t want to fight your battles alone, and you want to belong in a Mighty Foxhole, you may want to consider joining us:
WILD | PATH: Our 60-day online experience for men. Our next cohort starts soon. If you or a man you know is interested, join our wait list, learn more, and get access to apply.
WILDSONS MUSTER: Our invitation-only 4-day event in Colorado, on April 4-7. If you’d like to apply, please reply to this email and let us know. We’re making five spots available to readers of WILDSONS Weekly.
Much love,
—
Pablo