During the past week, it feels like everywhere I look, I see invitations to commit to New Year’s Resolutions.
A new year, a new me—the opportunity to start again and this time finally accomplish all that I couldn’t last year.
While the intention behind New Year’s Resolutions may be noble, I believe they are a setup for failure and disappointment.
And the numbers confirm it.
According to a recent Forbes Health / One Poll survey, the average resolution lasts just 3.74 months, and only 1% of Americans stick to them year-round.
Another survey reports that 43% of people quit their resolutions by the end of January.
It doesn’t surprise me. My heart's honest reaction to New Year’s Resolutions is anxiety and pressure.
Write down my resolutions, make a “real commitment” for the new year, and somehow hope that what didn’t work last year will work in the new one:
"This year I will lose the extra pounds, make more money, spend less, quit binging Netflix, go to the gym 6 times a week, quit sugar and processed foods for good, improve my marriage, travel more."
I’m already exhausted.
There are many reasons why I believe that New Year’s Resolutions are completely flawed and why I haven’t made them for years. But today, I want to explore a simple one.
New Year’s Resolutions fail because they are rooted in behavior modification, instead of true transformation from the inside out.
Many of the things that we long for the new year are great—better health, better relationships, a better life. But they won’t come simply by trying harder.
But what if instead of making another half-hearted commitment to “making it to the gym six times a week” or “losing the extra pounds”, I could participate in the work God wants to do within me and become the kind of man who naturally cares for his body as God’s temple?
If that were the case, I wouldn’t need to look for food as a source of comfort and relief when I’m exhausted or threatened. I would instead receive it as a proper source of nourishment for my body.
And I wouldn’t look for another excuse to not exercise today, but instead, I would naturally be active on a daily basis as a form of self-care.
Because that’s what people like us do.
This is what God does—he transforms us from the inside out as we walk and train with him daily, becoming more and more who he created us to be.
God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. - Ephesians 3:20-21 MSG
By working within us… his Spirit deeply and gently within us…
Paul, a student of the Way of Jesus and a writer of a big portion of the New Testament, chose to commit himself to this Path.
He allowed God to work deeply within him, over time, and as a result, he can share the outcome with his friends in Philippi. He writes:
“…For I’m trained in the secret of overcoming all things, whether in fullness or in hunger. And I find that the strength of Christ’s explosive power infuses me to conquer every difficulty.” - Philippians 4:12-13 TPT
As a result of his daily training, he has become the kind of man who, in Christ’s explosive power, can conquer every difficulty.
Now we’re talking.
How can we take Paul’s approach and choose daily to become who God created us to be?
Here are some practical thoughts to get us started:
Start with desire.
If you made New Year’s Resolutions, start there.
What is your heart’s desire behind those resolutions?
If you didn’t make any resolutions, ask yourself what do you long for this year?
Now go a bit deeper:
Why do you want that? Honestly…what’s behind that desire?
If you get that (hitting the gym six times a week or losing the extra pounds, or whatever it is that you long for), what do you get that your heart truly wants?
Then go deeper into identity.
The desires God has placed deep in your heart are clues to how he created you as a man.
John Eldredge said it best when he wrote: “Desire reveals design, and design reveals destiny.”
If this is true, then what do these desires say about how you were designed by God, as a man?
Here are some thoughts:
You were created to bring your strength in sacrificial love on behalf of those around you.
You were made to experience passion, adventure, and freedom.
You were made to do hard things, to come through, to make change happen in union with him.
You were made to bring goodness into a world full of darkness.
You were created to experience love and intimate connection with God and those around you.
You were created to fully depend on God, and in his supernatural life flowing through yours.
Now, if this is what you are truly created for, how can you adopt a training mindset that leads you to become, over time, the kind of man who experiences life this way?
Embrace the freedom of choice that you have today.
Resolutions say “this year I will”. But you haven’t been given the capacity to choose for a whole year.
What God has given you, in love and as an act of honor and dignity, is a new day (today), along with the capacity to choose.
So instead of carrying the burden of a whole year in your resolutions, consider that given who God created you to be as a man, you have the capacity to choose what you will do and won’t do today.
In light of who you are as a man, what are your choices for today?
Here are some of mine:
Today I will:
Connect wholeheartedly with God and open my heart to listen to what he may want to say to me.
Ask God to father me and train me, and to be at the center of everything I am and everything I do throughout the day.
Eat well and exercise to honor God’s temple and cultivate a lifestyle of health and strength.
Tell my wife that I am grateful for her. I will also make the bed in the morning because although I don’t care for the 25 pillows on my bed, I know this is important to her, and that it shows her that I love her.
Engage with my kids and make them know with my words and actions that I love them and I’m proud of them.
Engage in work wholeheartedly and with excellence, grateful that I can make things better in the world, right where I am, in union with God.
Finish work on time, so that I can be fully present to my family and give them my best and my most.
Release all outcomes in full trust to God, as I recognize that I don’t control them, but he does. And I’m secure in him.
I don’t know about tomorrow, let alone a full year. But I know that I can make these choices today.
And you have also been given the gift of today, so I want to invite you to take a few moments and write down what you are choosing today.
What will you be training in, in order to become who God created you to be?
Finally, consider putting your list somewhere visible so that when tomorrow becomes today and you see it again, it may remind you of the gift God is giving you once again:
The freedom to choose, and in doing so, the capacity to become the man, husband, father and leader he created you to be.
See you next time.
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Pablo with WILDSONS